Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Tuesday Tips: When Life Happens

Every now and the something happens. I call this kind of thing The Monkey Wrench.

Last week my wife broke her leg. She was walking down the stairs carrying a laundry basket and stepped on a pile of magazines (she had left there). She only fell three steps but she badly broke her fibula and dislocated her ankle.

The good new was that the EMTs were there in only three minutes after I dialed 911. The bad news was it was broke bad. Surgery was required. Recovery will be slower than a simple break.

Family first, writing second.

This happened on October 1st, our wedding anniversary. Today is October 17th. This may be my longest hiatus from writing since 2014.

So what have I learned?

  • Monkey Wrenches happen.
  • Don't sweat it. Worrying about it won't help.
  • Stay organized. This allows you to pick up where you left off easier.
  • Forgive the Monkey Wrench. Because it's not IF shit happens, it's WHEN shit happens.
  • Family First. Let the Monkey Wrench bring you closer to those you love. Not become a wedge.

As far as Monkey Wrenches go, this is a minor one (Sorry, Brenda.)  Remember that time when Steven King was out for a walk and got hit by a guy in a van? Now that is a MAJOR Monkey Wrench. I just have to do all the cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, home maintenance stuff and caring for my poor, pitiful, frustrated wife. It takes more time than you think! It sure make me appreciate all she does for me.

Be prepared against Monkey Wrenches:
  • BACKUPS! Computer issues are the most common Monkey Wrench.
    • Hard drive failure
    • Loss or stolen laptops
    • FIRE!
  • Stay organized.
    • Outlines that will keep me on track
    • Notes consolidated in one place
  • Stay flexible.
    • “The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm.” --Confucius

--REMEMBER: Never leave a stack of magazines on the stairs to take up later...  


Monday, September 25, 2017

The Last Road Trip

This weekend was difficult for me.

When my brother Carl knew he was dying, he and I plotted out all his funeral arrangements. He wanted a Big Lebowski style scattering of his ashes. Folgers can and all. He made me promise to use an old school metal Folgers can. We laughed. I agreed. I eventually found the coffee can. I even made and drank the coffee.

I divided his ashes four ways. I drove one portion all the way to California. My Brother Russ will scatter those in the Pacific. My sister Amy will scatter her portion in the Atlantic. My sister Wanda will scatter her portion in the Gulf of Mexico.

Carl loved the water.

The water he loved the most in the world was in our home town of Indian Falls New York. We grew up on Indian Falls Road. Plus the actual Indian Falls flowed next to his favorite bar in the world. The Log Cabin.

Just above the Falls, there is a bridge.

I had decided that I would scatter his ashes from the center of the bridge. The closer the time came the more difficult I knew it would be for me. I was initially going to invite a pile of people, then just family, then just my wife, and then, in the end, it was just me. My wife Brenda understood. It was a beautiful day. A perfect day. I parked my car and walked onto the bridge. It was quiet and calm and I took the picture you see on the right above.

I had a private conversation with Carl.

I was glad there was no wind blowing. I slowly began to pour the contents from the can, and something magical happened. Half of the ash dove straight for the water. It was like it was eager to ride the waterfalls again. The other half drifted and was more like smoke in the sunshine. It danced on the breeze below the bridge. It swirled gently like a flock of starlings in the sunshine. It even made a rainbow in the sun as the cloud drifted toward the falls.

I leaned on the railing, for physical and emotional support. My tears followed him into the water below, into eternity.

--I love you, bro. Thanks for being part of my life. Thanks for the Road Trip...



Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Tuesday Tips: Tools to take with you

I am heading out on a cross country road trip with my son on Monday. Washington DC to San Francisco CA. This is a serious road trip. In fact it may be the basis of a future book titled:

The Last Road Trip

We are driving. I rented a nice car. My son is moving to CA and it will be a great final vacation before he goes off and becomes an adult with his own life. But I am also bringing my brother Carls ashes to scatter in the Pacific. In many ways this is the last road trip. We are also going to drive into the Full Solar Eclipse. Who knows. The Zombie Apocalypse could break out. Then I'd have a story to write!

As a writer on the road there are a few must have items along the way.

  • Laptop with 12volt charger
  • iPhone (comms, camera, music player, research tool, eReader)
    • Kindle books
    • Audible books (to listen while I am driving)
    • Inspiration Music on MP3
  • Paper Notepads
  • Several pens and pencils
  • Headphones
I'm intentionally leaving things off the list, like pants. To write I don't need pants or commas. The cops and editors kind of insist you have them.

What are your required writing tools when you travel?

--Wish us luck. 

Monday, July 10, 2017

RIP: Carl Wilsey

Tony Adams took this at Woodstock Fire Tower
My Brother died yesterday.

He took his final breath while I held his hand.

His final whispered words to me were, "I love you too."

We knew it was coming. I sat up with him for two all-nighters in a row, watching cheesy action films, Godzilla and the Antique Road Show. Mini strokes had taken the left side of his body, but his channel surfing finger was fit until the end.

Carl moved to Virginia about six years ago after he almost died from another health crisis. I flew to Pensacola Florida to get him and Roadtrip back in his car, packed with all his stuff. Carl wasn’t a guy that had a lot of stuff. He traveled light.

He said many times that all he needed was, “somewhere to sleep that will keep the rain off.” He lived for many years on boats. He made living in an RV seem like a waste of too much space. He had built a 300 square foot tiny house before they were cool.

For the last six years, he lived near me, here in Manassas Virginia with my sister’s family. Amy has one of those big, wonderful, houses, always full of children and grandchildren and friends and family and chaos. It more than just kept the rain off.

On Carl's Boat in the 80's

He had a few other small requirements for life: A comfy chair, coffee, “good tuneage,” wheels, movies, and a nice place to sit outside.  

Every week he spent a couple nights at my house. We have a couple guest rooms, but he loved sleeping on the sofa in front of a big HDTV watching chick flicks or Pawn Stars after we had all gone to bed. We had watched over a thousand movies together in those years. Most of them were crap, we knew it, but it wasn’t about the movies. It was about being there.

He liked to cook for us once a week. He’d spend the day shopping, then usually roasting meat in my smoker. Some meals were complete disasters, worthy of sitcom comedy. Some were the best meals of my life. Some were tragic within the last year as his alcoholism got the better of him. But we were together.

Camping at Elizabeth Furnace in 2015

I will miss our camping trips. I will miss sitting outside on lovely days, playing music and telling stories of how the music reminded us of past loves or adventures. I will miss driving out to the airport to talk while we watched the planes and choppers come and go. I will miss what Carl liked to call, “exploring.” We’d wander to placed that were off the beaten path, like the Woodstock fire tower, abandoned factories, cemeteries, creeks, or under bridges to check out the graffiti. Bonus points if the place was restricted in some way. But mostly I will miss our talks. He was there for the publication of every one of my books. He was always encouraging, and interested. Even though he never read a single one of them. Until they were released as audio editions that is. He’s made it easy to decide who the next novel will be dedicated to. I will miss the coffee stops with him. He wasn’t a Starbucks coffee guy, more like McDonald's, Waffle House or better yet a mom and pop diner in the middle of nowhere. I will miss his dreams of winning the lotto and buying a big boat and sailing it from the Chesapeake to Pensacola. He never bought a ticket as far as I know. But he owned that dream.

My coffee went cold as I wrote this. It seems fitting. Carl was the self-proclaimed, “King of Cold Coffee.” Hail to the King.

He didn't want a big funeral service. What he wanted was a quick cremation and his ashes placed in a Folgers coffee can like in the movie The Big Lebowski. We will scatter his ashes in one of his favorite places in all the world. The last roadtrip.

I still have not written his Obit. It will be impossible to boil his life down into a few column inches. So it will be just the facts. Sigh.

--I love you, bro. It has been a pleasure, a privilege and an honor to have you in my life.



Saturday, November 7, 2015

Motivation

Saturday mornings are usually my favorite time to write. I usually wake up at about 5:30am and sneak out of bed (makes my wife love me more).

I usually make coffee while wearing my nightshirt, robe and slippers and in the quiet I crank out a chapter or two in my next novel.

Not today.

I heard last night that one of my friends from school had died. He was 57. Kevin was my brother Eric's best friend. We were a pack of knuckleheads back in the day. We all learned about girls, smoking, drinking, cars, music, movies, work and life together.

I had not seen Kevin in a decade. We emailed infrequently. His health had been failing for year so he didn't travel much anymore. He never seemed to get over my brothers death.

In my short story, The Outer Ring, there is a character based on him. The deep space survey ship The Ventura had a bar on it called Peck's Halfway. Peck was the owner and operator of the place.

I regret not stopping in to visit him my last time visiting home. You always think there will be more time.

Today, I am going to visit a friend. I'm going to hold a baby. I am going to skip ahead and write a sad chapter about loss of a friend, but mostly I'm going to think about Peck. Think about his stupid laugh and his enormous capacity for whiskey and bacon. Think about his face on the other side of the campfire. Think about how scared he was of ghost stories. Think about sitting with him and my brother waiting for trains to just watch them go by.

-- Rest in Peace, Peck. Say hi to Eric for me.


Friday, May 8, 2015

Long Busy Week

My father-in-law, Grandfather to my children, Bert Miller, died last weekend.

He was a day short of his 90th birthday.

He was the last parent of that generation left.

I will miss his smile and the sound of his laugh.

--RIP, Bert.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Experiences

As a writer, I believe it is very important to get out from behind the keyboard.

It makes it easier to write about things.

Today's adventure will be sailing! I might need to include a bit of sailing in a future book!

--Sunny and 81!